mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
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