i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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