found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
