If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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