i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
even my farts smell like vagina
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
