Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
