I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
