she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
