Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
