for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
