he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
