its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize