Who wears a wallet chain?!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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