"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize