apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
