mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize