I didn't shave. On purpose
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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