i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If I die, sorry about rent.
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