four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize