He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
