To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We have started to decorate penises.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
