I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
