can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
