Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
