So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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