I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
