so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
my liver is dry heaving
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
