Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
