who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize