i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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