I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
