I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
BRING THE BAGELS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
