Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
