Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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