whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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