I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
