Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
