LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
