I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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