I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
