No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize