Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
