But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
