Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
