Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
