Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize