Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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