she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
