He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
