There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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