dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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