Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
