is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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