who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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