You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
