you win again, gameday.
do herpes really smell.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
