You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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