You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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