I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
