whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We're too hungover to prance.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
