if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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