my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
