i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
