Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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