Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
