making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
