even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
