I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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