Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
