Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize