Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
