You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
